One of the most powerful questions in negotiation is,“What’s important to you?” (or “What’s most important to you?”) because it serves multiple purposes. This question not only establishes a genuine connection by showing interest in the other party’s priorities but also helps uncover what they value most. Knowing this allows you to identify areas where you can offer something of high value to them that may come at a lower cost to you, paving the way for a mutually beneficial agreement.

Equally, ask this question to yourself: “What’s most important to me?” Reflecting on your own priorities ensures you enter the negotiation with clarity, prepared to focus on what matters most while maintaining flexibility on less critical issues.

Start With Trust

Asking about the other party's priorities shows that you respect and value their perspective, which is crucial for building trust. Trust is the cornerstone of any successful negotiation, as it fosters a more open and honest exchange of ideas. When parties trust each other, they are more likely to share information freely and work collaboratively towards a solution.

Example: In a negotiation between a software provider and a potential client, the salesperson begins by asking, "What’s most important to you in your software solutions?" This question not only helps the salesperson understand the client’s specific needs and preferences but also establishes a foundation of trust. It shows the client that the provider values their requirements and is committed to satisfying them, setting a collaborative tone for the rest of the negotiation.

Collaborate: Think win-win

Collaboration shifts the focus of a negotiation from a competition to a partnership. Instead of seeing the other party as an opponent, view them as an ally working toward a shared goal. This mindset encourages open communication, builds trust, and fosters creative problem-solving to find solutions that benefit both sides.

Example: Two companies are negotiating a joint venture and begin by asking, "What’s most important to you in this partnership?" This question helps both parties align their priorities and create a win-win structure. For instance, one company might prioritize gaining access to new markets, while the other focuses on leveraging technological expertise. By understanding each other's vision and goals, they can structure the joint venture to ensure both outcomes are achieved, transforming the negotiation from potentially competitive to deeply collaborative and maximizing joint benefits.

Dig into Interests

This question goes directly to the heart of the other party's core concerns and priorities. By understanding what truly matters to them, you can better tailor your proposals and responses to align with their interests. This alignment is key to crafting solutions that satisfy both parties, moving beyond surface-level demands to address underlying needs.

Example: During a job negotiation, an employer might ask the candidate, "What’s most important to you in your next role?" If the candidate expresses that work-life balance is their priority, the employer can then propose specific terms such as flexible working hours or telecommuting options. This question allows the employer to directly address the candidate’s core interests and tailor the offer to meet these interests, enhancing the likelihood of the candidate accepting the job offer.

Asking, “What makes this important to you?” is a powerful way to uncover the deeper motivations behind the other party’s priorities. This question moves beyond surface-level needs and reveals the underlying drivers that shape their decisions. Understanding these motivations allows you to identify opportunities for trade-offs—offering something of high value to them but of lesser cost to you, and vice versa.

This approach fosters collaboration by focusing on what truly matters to both sides. When you know why something is important, you can tailor solutions that address their core concerns while protecting or advancing your own priorities, paving the way for a mutually beneficial agreement.

Promotes Empathy and Understanding

Understanding why something is important to someone helps you see the situation from their perspective. This understanding fosters empathy because you recognize and validate their concerns, which is crucial in building trust and rapport. When people feel understood, they are more likely to be open and cooperative, reducing conflicts and resistance.

Example: In a corporate negotiation about extending work-from-home options, asking an employee, "Why is this flexibility important to you?" might reveal that their primary concern is balancing childcare. Understanding this, an employer can tailor a flexible schedule that meets both the company's productivity goals and the employee's personal needs, thereby enhancing job satisfaction and loyalty.

Example: If the other party appears frustrated, acknowledge their concerns with statements like, "I see why that’s important to you," to de-escalate tension and maintain a positive tone.

Find Common Ground

Understanding "Why is this important to you?" is key to finding common ground in any negotiation. By uncovering the deeper motivations behind a party’s requests, you can identify shared interests or goals that may not be immediately obvious. This insight shifts the negotiation from conflicting positions to collaborative problem-solving.

Example: In a business partnership negotiation, one party may insist on a strict liability clause due to concerns about risk management. By understanding their "why," both parties can agree on broader risk mitigation strategies, such as enhanced security protocols, that address the core issue without creating unnecessary conflict.

Encourages Creative Solutions (Expand the Pie)

When you understand the underlying reasons behind a negotiation stance, you can think more creatively about how to meet those needs. This often leads to solutions that provide greater value to all parties involved than the original positions would have allowed. By expanding the range of possible outcomes, you open up the negotiation to more innovative and mutually beneficial solutions.

Example: Suppose two departments are competing for a limited budget. By asking each leader, "Why is this funding important to your department?" you might discover that one department needs resources for urgent project completion while the other seeks long-term investments. With this understanding, you could allocate immediate funds to the first and approve future budget increments for the other, satisfying both needs.

In negotiations, being creative means thinking beyond the obvious or standard terms to identify additional benefits, services, or conditions that can add value for both parties. This approach widens the scope of the negotiation, making it easier to find mutually beneficial solutions, especially when traditional points like price or timelines are stuck.

Brainstorm for Mutual Gain

Brainstorming encourages creativity in finding solutions that satisfy both sides. Avoid zero-sum thinking, where one party’s gain is seen as the other’s loss. Instead, explore ways to increase the total value available by thinking beyond "yes" or "no" answers.

Example: In salary negotiations, instead of debating only salary, explore non-monetary benefits such as flexible hours, additional vacation days, or professional development opportunities. These options may cost less for the employer while significantly enhancing the employee’s satisfaction.

Use Trade-Offs and Hybrid Solutions

Trade-offs and hybrid solutions are about finding a balance that works for both sides. This helps balance conflicting priorities, with each side conceding on less important issues to gain on high-priority ones. Each party gets what is most important to them while giving up less important things. Sometimes, this means combining different options or creating "if-then" agreements, like "If you give me more time, then I can add extra features."

Example: If one person wants a big payment upfront and the other prefers smaller, ongoing payments, a hybrid solution could be a smaller upfront payment plus regular payments over time. This way, both sides get something they value.

Focus on Shared Gains and Non-Material Interests

Look for opportunities to create shared value by aligning goals or addressing intangible interests. Sometimes, priorities are not about material resources but emotional or symbolic needs, which can be met creatively.

Example: Two teams competing for a limited budget propose combining their projects to save costs and demonstrate broader impact. Alternatively, a team member seeking recognition might be offered a leadership role or public acknowledgment in exchange for extra effort, meeting emotional needs while advancing organizational goals.

Ask Open-Ended Questions to Spark Creativity

Encourage innovative thinking by asking open-ended questions that invite the other party to share their ideas and priorities. Examples include:

• "What would your ideal outcome look like?"
• "What other approaches could help us achieve this goal?"

These questions foster collaboration and uncover possibilities that may not have been considered, paving the way for creative, win-win solutions.

Basing negotiations on objective criteria ensures fairness and transparency, creating agreements that both sides view as sustainable and just. By grounding decisions in neutral standards, such as market value, industry benchmarks, or expert opinions, you reduce emotional bias and build trust between parties.

Fairness as a Foundation

Using objective criteria ensures that outcomes are based on agreed-upon facts rather than subjective preferences or power dynamics.

Build Trust with Data

Presenting well-prepared facts, benchmarks, and examples reinforces credibility and strengthens your position.

Encourage Collaboration

When both sides agree to use neutral standards, it reduces conflict and shifts the focus toward problem-solving.

Example: During a salary negotiation, instead of debating arbitrary numbers, both parties could refer to market research on typical salaries for similar roles in the same industry. This neutral data helps set a fair range, making it easier to agree on a number that feels reasonable to both sides.

By anchoring discussions in objective criteria, you not only increase the likelihood of a fair resolution but also establish a stronger foundation for long-term collaboration and trust.

BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) is your backup plan if negotiations fail. It represents your strongest alternative, ensuring you don’t accept a deal worse than what you could achieve elsewhere. Knowing your BATNA is crucial to making informed decisions, protecting your interests, and negotiating from a position of strength.

Why BATNA Matters

• Strengthens Your Position: Knowing your BATNA gives you confidence. If the proposed deal doesn’t meet or exceed your fallback, you can walk away without feeling pressured to settle for less.
• Clarifies Your Limits: BATNA defines your boundaries. It prevents you from conceding beyond what’s acceptable, ensuring you don’t agree to terms that harm your interests.
• Informs Your Strategy: Understanding your BATNA helps you craft proposals that leverage alternatives. It provides a baseline for assessing offers and pushing for better terms.

How to Identify Your BATNA

1. List Your Alternatives: Identify all options available if no agreement is reached, such as another supplier, job offer, or keeping your current arrangement.
2. Assess and Prioritize: Evaluate the pros and cons of each alternative. Determine which option provides the best combination of value, feasibility, and timing.
3. Quantify the Value: Attach measurable criteria, like cost, benefits, or time, to your BATNA. This allows you to compare negotiation proposals objectively.

Understand the Other Party’s BATNA

Knowing the other party’s BATNA provides insight into their flexibility and limits:

• A weak BATNA (e.g., no other suppliers or buyers) makes them more likely to concede.
• A strong BATNA (e.g., alternative buyers or better offers) means they may push harder for favorable terms.

You can gauge their BATNA by researching their alternatives, constraints, and market positions. Observing their behavior—hesitancy or urgency—can reveal clues about their fallback options.

Example: Imagine you’re negotiating for a new job, and both you and the employer have fallback options, or BATNAs, to consider:

• Your BATNA: Stay in your current job, where you earn $80,000. This is your minimum acceptable baseline—if the new offer isn’t better, you can comfortably stick with your current role.
• Their BATNA: Hire another qualified candidate who is willing to accept $85,000. This is their alternative if they cannot reach an agreement with you.

Now, they offer you $83,000. This amount is better than your BATNA because it exceeds your current salary of $80,000. However, it also approaches their BATNA, meaning they might have less flexibility to increase the salary further.

Because the offer is close to what they’d pay another candidate, you have room to negotiate for additional benefits without pushing them too far. For example, you could request flexible work hours, extra vacation days, or a signing bonus—perks that might be valuable to you but less costly for the employer than increasing the base salary.

Understanding both BATNAs allows you to assess the deal’s value clearly. You can confidently push for improvements that align with your priorities while respecting their constraints, leading to a more balanced and mutually beneficial outcome.

Plan Your First Offer Thoughtfully

Your first offer sets the tone for the entire negotiation. Make it ambitious but reasonable, leaving room for adjustments while demonstrating that you’ve considered the other party’s needs.

• Example: If negotiating a salary, suggest a number slightly above your ideal, supported by market research and your qualifications. Highlight how this number aligns with industry standards and the value you bring to the role.
• Enhancement: Research the other party’s priorities beforehand to ensure your first offer addresses their key concerns. For instance, emphasizing budget efficiency when proposing a service contract shows thoughtfulness and collaboration.

Map Out the Negotiation Zone

Identify the range where an agreement is possible, including your minimum acceptable terms, the other party’s likely limits, and the overlap between the two.

• Tip: Write down your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement), your ideal outcome, and potential concessions. This clarity helps you avoid wasting time on unattainable outcomes and keeps the discussion focused.
• Enhancement: Use this preparation to uncover overlapping interests. For example, if negotiating a joint venture, prioritize shared goals such as expanding market reach or reducing costs.

Develop a Strong Closing Strategy

• Summarize Key Points: Before concluding, recap the agreed terms to ensure both sides have a shared understanding. Misunderstandings can derail agreements later. Example: "To confirm, we’ve agreed on a starting salary of $85,000 with flexible hours and a performance review after six months."
• Document the Agreement: Always put the final agreement in writing to avoid future disputes and ensure accountability.
• Reaffirm Commitment: End positively by expressing enthusiasm for the collaboration. Example: "I’m excited about what we’ll achieve together and appreciate the effort you’ve put into this agreement."