Seeking clarity is about finding out who you are but more importantly who you want to be and how you want to feel in the future. You have to have a vision for yourself in the future and find meaning in what you do today because that propels you forward. When you have clarity about your future, you can be intentional about your behaviors and shape your future self.

HOW

You generate clarity by asking yourself questions, researching, trying new things, sorting through life’s opportunities, and finding out what’s right for you. Continually keep doing these things because clarity  does not come all at once. It takes time to find things out, to think about them and continually refine. Start with finding the answers to these questions: Who am I? (What do I value? What are my strengths and weaknesses?) What are my goals? What’s my plan? Below 3 practices to help you find more clarity.

ENVISION AND CLARIFY YOUR FUTURE

Your future self: Describe your future best self positively in 3 words and continuously remind yourself of them by putting a reminder in your phone (3x/day). Start acting like that person today. Think about your feelings & behaviors in different situations in the past and think how you would do it in the future.

Your future social interactions: For each person close to you imagine how you want that person to describe the relationship with you in just 3 words. With every interaction demonstrate those qualities. You can also ask yourself 3 questions before any interaction: 1. How can you be a good person or leader? 2. What will the other person need? 3. What kind of mood and tone do you want to set?

Your future skills: Look into your primary field of interest and identify 3 skills that would make you successful in the future in that field. Next, setup a plan to develop those skills obsessively: How will you learn and when. Approach skill learning as a specialist with the goal of mastery. Finally imagine the future and create a list of 3 skills that you would need to succeed within 5 to 10 years from now. Keep them on the radar to also start developing them rather sooner than later. Make skill building a priority!

Your future service to others: Ask yourself how you can add value, inspire and make a difference to those you serve (customers, colleagues,..). What does matter to them? How to serve in unique ways? How can you exceed expectations and serve with excellence? Make your contribution to the world! 

DETERMINE THE FEELING YOU’RE AFTER

Events that happen in your environment trigger a sudden, mostly unconscious, emotional response like anger, fear, amusement, sadness, relief or love. You can consciously choose how you want to feel regardless of those emotions that come up by changing the interpretation of that emotion. For example, when you’re afraid tell yourself that you’re sensing a feeling of readiness and excitement.

Ask yourself frequently: What is the primary feeling you want to bring to this situation, and what is the primary feeling you want to get from this situation? What do you want to feel today? What emotions come up and how can you define the feeling yourself? In sports “feeling” makes you a winning athlete.

DEFINE WHAT’S MEANINGFUL

Our striving for a meaningful life is one of the main factors of psychological well-being and happiness. High performers define meaning as: enthusiasm (choose projects you are most enthusiastic about), connection (have social relationships that challenge you), satisfaction (effort linked to your passions, leads to personal growth, and makes a contribution to others), and coherence (having the feeling that things you do make sense, create a legacy, feeding a higher purpose). You can create your own definition of meaning by just starting to know the difference between busywork and your life’s work. Choose to have more meaningful activities to your life. Questions to ask: What activities bring me most meaning? What activities are not meaningful to me? What new activities can bring me more meaning?

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